In African homes, there are many rules guiding thoughts, actions and beliefs. They weren't written down by anyone but communicated through gestures, body language and at times, the slight glance of an elder across the table. Every African knows when a single laugh means, “you have overstayed your welcome” and the subtle glance a mother gives, when she sees you taking food from an acquaintance. These rules; are formed by tradition, religion, fear and the need for protection, and passed down from generation to generation, instill a sense of safety, respect, and orderliness in the homeand , becoming a part of every African. Many African communities have been held together strongly over the years because of these rules and are one of the factors that makes Africans stand out anywhere.
These unwritten rules that stem from culture and tradition, then overtime religion, have been the guiding force behind many homes in Africa. Some out of love, some out of fear, some out of the need to protect each other, some to instill respect. These rules, seemingly “funny” at times, are playing a huge role in the longevity of cultural values in African homes. “Respect” is a big deal in African communities. In a majority of African homes, an example of an unwritten rule is “when an elder is speaking, the younger ones are expected to be quiet.” This has not brought about “just” respect but also a sense of order. In Nigeria and many other African homes, they are very keen on using the right hand to give or receive something. It shows reverence to the person.
Although these rules are similar, we cannot help but notice the differences in many African countries. For example, In Ethiopia, one must not show strong emotions in front of elders. There is a big emphasis on being calm before the elders as a sign of respect because showing emotions to them is a sign of immaturity. In Uganda, it is a must to consult the elders before making major decisions. This is done to honor the ones before a person and whatever decision they make is final, favorable or not. In Nigeria, one knows best to not receive food from an acquaintance without permission from parents or they stand a risk of getting beat up. This is done for safety purposes.
However, till this day, these rules, though ancient, are still very much in use. We asked Africans their thoughts on these rules and we got fascinating responses. Here are some unwritten rules that governed their homes
:
Ernest- “My mother always uses Steel Large plates to serve my father. There was a time I tried to use it, but I didn't hear the end of it. I guess it was a way to honor my dad”
Peculiar- “My mother told me never to give out anything with my left hand, honestly, I don't understand why. Hand is hand now! Or is there any difference?”
Divine- “Don't whistle at night. Till today, they haven't told me why”
Temiloluwa- “Whenever we are sharing food, as the eldest, I'm expected to leave a larger portion for my younger ones. There's another one I was told, I have to finish my food before eating the protein on it. Who even came up with these things?”
From the responses above, we cannot help but affirm that these rules stem from traditional and cultural values, to instill honor, protection and uphold respect. Although these rules have been successfully passed on from generation to generation, they are now being questioned by modernization. There are claims that if these rules have been passed down from the ancient days up till today, there is a high chance of it not being lost at any time. Now, the question is to you,
Do you think these “Unwritten Rules” are susceptible to change?
